Tails From The Litterbox

In his hands sat a tiny Abyssinian

as he stood at his live-in lover's door

He said "I'm keeping it. Let's call it Gilligan."

and he handed her the cat and he said nothing more

And she thought, "Oh God, a cat. I hate cats,

and this one he's calling Gilligan, how disgustingly cute

I'd like to send him nad his little buddy Gilligan

on a three hour tour."

He said, "I'll take full responsibility.

I'll even feed it everyday."

"Cats" he said "are independent creatures."

But she wound up caring for the damn thing anyway.

But she will not clean the litter box

She won't go near it at all,

and she doesn't like animals that try to scratch her eyes out,

and she doesn't deal with fur balls.

And the litter box sits,

and the litter box sits,

and the little cat...sits in the litter box

One day, the whole thing grew too much for her,

it was a hot and humid August day

She approached the litter box with a great deal of trepidation

(and a can of Lysol)

Looked at it and said "no way"

But she will not clean the litter box

She won't go near it at all

and she doesn't like animals that try to scratch her eyes out,

and she doesn't deal with those pesky fur balls

And the litter box sits,

and the litter box sits,

and the little cat...sh*ts

(Okay, I said it, are you happy now?)

One day she came home from the office,

to find a cold and empty flat

He took the TV, the furniture, the stereo they bought together,

the microwave and the cat

But he left her the litter box

and to this day it's still lying there

It serves as a monument to their relationship

It's an appropriate souvenir

And the litter box sits

and the litter box sits,

and the litter box sits