Fluorescents

Does it help if I say that I’m sorry?

I know the burning in my blood has made you worry a lot

Like the medicine they gave me that hurt me

If you leave when I’m sleeping could you turn the lights off?

My eyes ache if I wake up bathing in fluorescence

It's hard to shake the phosphenes and iridescence

When intravenous makes me feel heavy

As frail as glass, I'm fading fast, I think that I’m ready to leave

So give me one good reason to believe I’m getting better

My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember

The last time I slept through a night without needing to shed my blood

I’m so sick of feeling alone

But I can’t stop thinking about

Every time that you’d leave me alone in the house

And I’d lay in my bed, suffocating with doubt

Over whether I’d manage to function without

Having you there to make sure I take what they gave me

To kill off the pain than I’m going through daily

In every way that I am strong, I am also weak

For all the words my lungs have birthed

I struggle to speak

To you about anything

That makes me feel like a burden

Does it hurt you if I say I can feel the decay?

In a hospital bed I wither away

Behind the curtains I’ve been crying almost every night

I don’t want to ache like this for the rest of my life

So give me one good reason to believe I’m getting better

My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember

The last time I slept through a night without needing to shed my blood

I’m so sick of feeling alone