Lizzie Borden

One very exciting area of folk idiom and folk music to us has always

Been the hatchet murders in Massachusetts

And I think that this quaint bit of suburban living can best be

Explained through the use of our poet laureate, Joe Frazier

Elizabeth Borden took an axe

And gave her mother forty whacks

And when the job was nicely done

She gave her father forty one

Yesterday in old Fall River, Mr. Andrew Borden died

And he got his daughter Lizzie on a charge of homicide

Some folks say she didn't do it, and others say of course she did

But they all agree Miss Lizzie B. Was a problem kind of kid

'Cause you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

Not even if it's planned as a surprise

No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

You know how neighbors love to criticize

She got him on the sofá where he'd gone to take a snooze

And I hope he went to heaven 'cause he wasn't wearing shoes

Lizzie kind of rearranged him with a hatchet so they say

And then she got her mother in that same old fashioned way

But you can't can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts

Not even if you're tired of her cuisine

No, you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts

You know it's almost sure to cause a scene

Well, they really kept her hoppin' on that busy afternoon

With both down and upstairs chopping while she hummed a rag-time tune

They really made her hustle and when all was said and done

She'd removed her mother's bustle when she wasn't wearing one

Oh you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts

And then blame all the damage on the mice

No you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts

That kind of thing just isn't very nice

Now it wasn't done for pleasure and it wasn't done for spite

And it wasn't done because the lady wasn't very bright

She'd always done the slightest thing that mom or pop had bid

They said, "Lizzie cut it out!" so that's exactly what she did

But you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

And then get dressed and go out for a walk

No, you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

Massachusetts is a far cry from New York

No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

Shut the door and lock and latch it

Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet

You can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

Such a snob I heard it said

She met her pa and cut him dead

You can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise

All join in in a habeas corpus

No, you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts

Massachusetts is a far cry from New York