The John Birch Society

[By michael brown]

Oh, we're meetin' at the courthouse at eight o'clock tonight

You just walk in the door and take the first turn to the right

We hope you will be careful, we'd hate to be bereft

But we're taking down the names of everybody turning left

Oh, we're the john birch society, the john birch society

Here to save our country from a communistic plot

Join the john birch society, help us fill the ranks

To get this movement started we need lots of tools and cranks

Now there's no one that we're certain the kremlin doesn't touch

We think that westbrook pegler doth protest a bit too much

We only hail the hero from whom we got our name

We're not sure what he did but he's our hero just the same

Oh, we're the john birch society, the john birch society

Socialism is the ism dismalest of all

Join the john birch society, there's so much to do

Have you heard they're serving vodka at the wctu?

Well you've heard about the agents that we've already named

Well mpa has agents that are flatly unashamed

We're after rosie clooney, we've gotten pinky lee

And the day we get red skelton won't that be a victory

Oh we're the john birch society, the john birch society

Norman vincent peale may think he's kidding us along

But the john birch society knows he spilled the beans

He keeps on preaching brotherhood, but we know what he means

We'll teach you how to spot 'em in the cities or the sticks

For even jasper junction is just full of bolsheviks

The cia's subversive and so's the fcc

There's no one left but thee and we, and we're not sure of thee

Oh, we're the john birch society, the john birch society

Here to save our country from a communistic plot

Join the john birch society holding off the reds

We'll use our hand and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads

Do you want justice warren for your commissar?

Do you want mrs. Krushchev in there with the dar?

You cannot trust your neighbor or even next of kin

If mommie is a commie then you gotta turn her in

Oh, we're the john birch society, the john birch society

Fighting for the right to fight the right fight for the right

Join the john birch society as we're marching on

And we'll all be glad to see you when we're meeting in the john

The john, the john birch so- ci- I- teee.