Crawling Home

I slowly open up one eye

Feel a pounding in my head

My mouth tastes like i ate my socks

Lord i think i must be dead

There's something lying next to me

Its got a hairy ugly face

I saw her in a movie once

The thing from outer space

I see little creepy crawlers

In the corners of my eye

When i try to look at them

They flap their little wings and fly

I reach out for the nearest beer

It tastes as warm as pee

It's full of soggy old ciggy butts

But i only swallowed three

Chorus:

It was a crawling home puker

That made me this way

A crawling home puker

Now i've gotta pay

I ain't no quitter

I'll party till the end

But if i live through this one

I'll never do it again

I fall down upon my knees

Put my arms around the stool

I whisper to my toilet bowl

Thanks for being so cool

My stomach feels like jello

My brains have turned to mush

My toilet's over flowing

I don't have the strength to flush

I got crusties on my eyeballs

And my teeth are growing hair

And i smell just like a beagle

When he's passing stinky air

I feel like death warmed over

And i think i've got the runs

Then someone cracks a beer and says

Hey, have a beer you old son of a gun

(repeat chorus)