Diarrhea

I know it's getting late

And i know we had a date lucia

I hate to make you wait

Cause it would be so great to see ya

Tears fall from my eyes

And i must apologize lucia

I'll have to stay at home

So i called you on the phone

Cause i'm stuck here on the throne

With diarrhea

I thought it was only gas

So i went and let one pass

Then i stood there in a trance

As i filled my brand new pants

My mother brought me soup

But it only made me poop lucia

I never should have ate

But it sounded like a great idea

You know it really hurts

When you got the hershey squirts lucia

There's no paper to be seen

So i used people magazine

And it makes me wanna scream

Diarrhea

I love you dear with all my heart

But i can't go out with liquid farts

I wouldn't have to break our date

If only i could constipate

I know you got the hots

But i really got the trots lucia

There's no need to scream and shout

Cause tomorrow we'll go out i guarantee ya

I know you need your man

So i came up with a plan lucia

I'll take a cork and super glue

Pound it in there with my shoe

And then i'll be all through

With diarrhea