Lonely Yooper

I looked down into her bloodshot eyes

She said "save a beer for me"

I said, "i'll have to drink it later cause now i gotta pee"

She reached down and grabbed my gonads

And she squeezed 'em in her hand

She said "you ain't going nowhere

Cause now i need a man"

But i gotta go real bad

And i just can't take a chance

I gotta beat it for the outhouse before i *** my pants

Then we both heard something coming

And it sounded like a tank

She said, "holy sit it's toivo!"

And she game 'em one last yank

Chorus:

I was just a lonely yooper she grabbed me by the rump

She said her husband toivo he laid there like a stump

She said, "you don't have to worry we'll be safe out here"

"toivo never comes to camp unless he's hunting deer"

Then i saw ole'' toivo,

He was loading up his gun

I ran out for the outhouse, i think he saw me run

When toivo came stomping down the path

I think he heard me groan

But when he opened the outhouse door

There was no one on the throne

I looked up from the sit pile

At the hole i just jumped through

I was sinking past my shoulders

I wondered what he'd do

Then toivo dropped his trousers

And i wished that i was dead

I could hear him up there giggling

As he sit upon my head

(repeat chorus)