One Day After Christmas

It's one day after christmas

I'm crabby and i'm broke

I'm so full of ham and fruitcake

I think i'm gonna croak

It's nice to see the relatives

I wonder when they'll leave

The've been camping in my bathroom

Since early christmas eve

They're eating everything in sight

And sleeping in my bed

I been sacked out in the basement

With my beagle fred

The relatives have all gone out

And left their screaming brats

The toilet bowl is all clogged up

And i can't find the cat

Chorus:

It's christmas time at my house

The relatives are here

They eat me out of house and home

And drink up all my beer

I love the decorations

And the sleigh bells in the snow

But i wish those pesky relatives

Would take their kids and go home

Those cookie crunchers fed the dog

A twenty pound rib roast

His feet are sticking in the air

Like skinny old fence posts

Now they're in a free for all

The girls against the boys

They're fighting over boxes

'cause they're bored with all their toys

My mother-in-law is snoring

In my favorite tv chair

Those kids are stringing lights on her

And tinseling her hair

I oughta wake her up before

The fireworks begin

But i wanna see those blue sparks fly

When they plug her in

(repeat chorus)