Three Months Late

I met her at the pine grove

One hot night in may

She was a blonde haired finnish girl

From up in champion way

She was short and broad of beam

Just like a jackp1ne stump

The boys all flocked around her

Like the seagulls at the dump

I told her i can't polka

Cause i'm just too drunk to dance

She bounced me all around the floor

'till i almost **** my pants

I fell in love with her that night

And asked her for a date

I took her to my uncle's camp

And now she's three months late

Chorus:

She's late she's late

Oh lord she's three months late

I took her to my uncle's camp

And now she's three months late

I said she was my first love

She said she'd show me how

She learned some from the maki boys

And some from watching cows

I fired up the sauna threw some

Water on the rocks

Then i took off everything

Except my woolen socks

I drank another six-pack

And she started looking good

She told me lay down on the bench

I wondered if i should

She beat me with some cedar boughs

And then i couldn't wait

Now i'm all sore and black and blue

And now she's three months late

(repeat chorus)

She dragged me to the altar

I fought her all the way

Her daddy and her brothers came

And told me what to say

Now he works for c.c.i.

Where the pay is really great

He's gotta feed those 15 kids

And a wife that's three months late

(repeat chorus)