Lying There

I look at you lying there

sleeping so soundly

sometimes I wish

I could sleep as calm as you

and I bet in your dreaming I'm there

I look peaceful

and maybe you'd assume

I'm lost in dreaming too

but despite how I try

to close my eyes and join you

despite how I try

to hold my breath and body still

despite how I try

not to jolt you or wake you

I can't sleep

I don't breath

I won't move

Am I fulfilled?

I look at you lying there

and I want love you

I want to sleep for decades by your side

but with you I'm restless

I'm running on empty

I'm living a life

where I have comprimised

You'd think in my sleep

I'd see you in my future

You'd think in my dreams

I'd see our kids play on the lawn

you'd think in my nightmares

I'm living life without you

You would think

you would guess

but I can't sleep

So you'd be wrong

You have blue eyes and I love blue eyes

I love how you're six feet tall

I love how we question if God's really there

and how we hate Christmas time at the mall

and on paper we're great

and our stars are alligned

and it looks like it was all meant to be

but night after night

I keep shutting my eyes

and I try but I find I can't sleep

I look at you lying sleeping without me

I bet you'd never guess

my restlessness just grows

and while I want to shut my eyes

and know the things you know

I can't sleep

I can't breath

I can't move

How I wish I could wake you

I wish I could jolt you

I wish I could love you

but wishing that I'd loved you

isn't really loving

I suppose