Dental Hygiene Dilemma

Bad Conscience:

Han min noon toon han toon han

Good Conscience:

No, Jeff!

Bad Conscience:

Han toon ran toon ran toon

fran min han toon ran toon

nan toon fram

Good Conscience:

No no no

Jeff:

Man, this stuff is great!

It's just as if Donovan himself

Had appeared on my very own TV

With words of peace, love

And eternal cosmic wisdom...!

Leading me. Guiding me.

On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic

Negligence in the very midst of my

Drug induced nocturnally emission

Good Conscience:

Oh, I am your good conscience, Jeff

I know all, I see all

I am a cosmic love pulse matrix

Becoming a technicolor interpositive

Jeff:

Mm? Where'd you buy that incense?

It's hip

Good Conscience:

It's the same and mysterious, exotic, oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on

Jeff:

I thought I recognized it

Sniff. Sniff. Mmm

What is that, musk? Mmm

Good Conscience:

Jeff, I know what's good for you

Jeff:

Right

You're heavy

Good Conscience:

Yes, Jeff

I am your guiding light

Listen to me

Don't rip off the towels, Jeff!

Bad Conscience:

Piss off, you little nitwit!

Jeff:

Hey, man, what's the deal?

Good Conscience:

Don't listen to him, Jeff!

He's no good

He'll make you do bad things!

Jeff:

You mean, he'll make me sin?

Good Conscience:

Yes, Jeff

SIN

Jeff:

Wow!

Bad Conscience:

Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you...

About your soul

Good Conscience:

No, don't listen, Jeff!

Bad Conscience:

Why are you wasting your life

Night after night

Playing this comedy music?

Jeff:

You're right

I'm too heavy to be in this group!

Bad Conscience:

Comedy music...

Good Conscience:

Jeff, your soul!

Chorus:

Oh... Too heavy to...

Jeff:

In this group all I ever get to do

Is play Zappa's comedy music

He eats!

Good Conscience:

Jeff!

Jeff:

I get so tense!

Bad Conscience:

Of course you do, my boy

Jeff:

The stuff he makes me do

Is always off the wall!

Bad Conscience:

That's why it would be best

To leave this stern employ

Jeff:

And quit the group!

Bad Conscience:

You'll make it big!

Jeff:

That's right!

Bad Conscience:

Of course!

Jeff:

And then I won't be small!

Chorus:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Jeff:

Cough! Cough!

Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat

Six weeks ago at a rancid motel in Orlando,

Florida, with the highest mildew rating of

Any commercial lodging facility within the

Territorial limits of the United States

Naturally excluding tropical possessions...

Cough! Cough!

It's still damp!

What an aroma!

This is the best I ever got off!

What can I say about this elixir?

Try it on steaks

Cleans nylons, small craft warnings

it's made for the home

The office

On fruits!

Bad Conscience:

This is the real you, Jeff

Rip off a few more ashtrays

Get rid of some of that inner tension

Quit the comedy group!

Get your own group together!

Heavy!

Like Grand Funk!

Or Black Sabbath...

Good Conscience:

No, Jeff...

Jeff:

Like Coven!

Good Conscience:

Peace... Love...

Bad Conscience:

Bollocks!

Jeff:

What can I say about this elixir?

Mark:

Jeff is gone out there on that stuff!

Good Conscience:

He should have never have use the elixir

And only stuck to the incense

Oh, Atlantis...

Howard:

That was Billy the Mountain

Dressed up like Donovan fading out

On the wall mounted TV screen

Jeff is flipping out.

Road fatigue!

We've got to get him back to normal

Before Zappa points up and steals it

And makes him do it in the movie!

Bad Conscience:

You have a brilliant career ahead of you

My boy

Just get out of this group!

Mark:

Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch dressed up

Like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the

Bass player of a rock oriented comedy group.

Jeff's imagination has gone beyond

The fringe of audience comprehension

Howard:

Jeff, Jeff, it's me, the Fluorescent Leech!

Mark:

Jeff, Jeff, it's me! Eddie!

Jeff:

Wooow!

What can I say about this elixir?

Mark: (Canal direito)

Put it on your steaks, uh, send it overseas,

(...) ground, and put it on your surfboard

so you won't slip off, and try it on your

(...), and on the, the red balloons, you

can blow up all balloons with it. Put it

on your... on your... on your pizzas, put

it on your shoes, tie your mic with it,

and fill up your tires with it

Howard: (centro)

Use it to clean your swimming pool

Sell it to your mother tell her

It's a Rit tie-dye kit

You won't even believe what'll

Happen when you starch your shirt with it

Ironing goes easier and your car windows

Never looked better in your whole life

Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it

And it makes your voice three keys higher

And you can't even stand what happens

When you put it on your hair

As hair tonic, heh, heh.

And if you ever tried it as it

Jim Pons: (canal esquerdo)

Soak your shirts in it,

soak your teeth in it

Let it play the piano

Follow it around the block

Wear it instead of jeans

Bathe you puppies with it

Feed it to your ducks

Use it

Instead of chlorine in your swimming pool

Breathe it. Love it

Jeff:

What?

Woooooow!

What can I?

Woooooow!

What?

What can I say about this?

Woooooow!