Frank Zappa
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Penis Dimension

Read Penis Dimension lyrics by Frank Zappa on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.

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Page type: lyric reference Artist: Frank Zappa Canonical path: /frank-zappa/penis-dimension Related lyric paths: 6 Video embedded: yes
Lyrics

Penis Dimension

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Chorus & Mark:

Penis dimension

Penis dimension

Penis dimension is worrying me

I can't hardly sleep at night

'Cause of penis dimension

Do you worry?

Do you worry a lot?

No!

Do you worry?

Do you worry and moan

That the size of your cock

Is not monstrous enough?

It's your penis dimension

Penis dimension

Mark:

Hi, you friends.

Now just be honest about it.

Did you ever considered the possibility

That your penis, and in the case of

Many dignified ladies that the size of the tities

Themselves might provide elements of

Subconscious tension?

Weird, twisted anxieties that could force

A human being to have to become a politician

A policeman, a Jesuit monk

A rock'n'roll guitar player

A wino. You name it

Or in the case of the ladies, the ones that

Can't afford a silicone beef-up

They'd become writers of hot books!

Howard:

"Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim..."

Mark:

Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns!

Howard:

"Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed this mutated member in her slithering slit..."

Mark:

Oh, or racehorse jockeys...

There is no reason why you or your loved one

should suffer. Things are bad enough without

the size of your organ adding even more misery

to the troubles of the world!

Howard:

Right on! Right on!

Mark:

Now, if you are a lady and you got munchkin

tits, you can console yourself with this age

old line from primary school:

M-H:

Anything over a mouthful

is wasted!

Mark:

Yes! And isn't it the truth?

And if you're a guy,

one night you're at a party

And you're trying to be cool

I mean, you aren't even wearing underwear

You being so cool

And somebody hits on you one night

And he looks you up and down and he says, uh

Howard:

Eight inches or less!

Mark:

Well, let me tell you brothers,

that's the time when you got to turn around

and look that sonofabitch right between the eyes

And you got to tell him these words:

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Who performs "Penis Dimension"?

Frank Zappa performs "Penis Dimension", and this lyric page sits inside the Frank Zappa catalog on LyroVerse.

Are there related songs to explore after "Penis Dimension"?

Yes. The related section below points to Dong Work For Yuda and St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast with a short reason for opening each page next.

Where can I find more songs by Frank Zappa?

Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Frank Zappa's lyric pages.

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