Google

The sky isn't blue, and the ocean's not grand

And string theory is easy to understand

The grass isn't green, and the sun isn't bright

Healthcare will be resolved overnight

The world isn't round, and the Buddha's not Zen

And we both have really good taste in men

And there really is a Black Forest land

Where everyone gets all their ham...

And I swear, I fuckin' swear

I didn't Google you...

Okay, I did, I admit it

It was so easy to do

7, 008 results

And I know everything about you

You're not a sex offender

But you failed home ec in 1997

It really isn't that weird

Come on, we're all adults here...

Everybody Googles each other

Everybody does their Facebook research

It's how we get to know one another

To make sure that we don't get raped.

I don't have any mental disorder

And I don't spend my weekends watching "Law & Order"

It takes forever to get in my pants

This old-fashioned girl likes romance

I am not fearful of being alone

And Zack Morris had a really small phone

Ring ring ring r-ring ring r-ring ring

Cell phones in the '80s...

And I swear, shit fuckin' swear

I didn't Google you...

Okay, I did, I admit it

And I know that you Googled me too

How else would you have known

That my dog contracted herpes?

Sing it again, 'cause this melody

Feels really good to sing

Stop pretending it's taboo

Like masturbation in the '50s...

Everybody Googles each other

Everybody does their Facebook research

It's how we get to know one another

To make sure that you're not in porn.

I do not mean to be jealous already

But who is that girl in those pictures? She's pretty

I think you may have dated her

Or maybe she's your lesbian friend

I see that you got really drunk on your birthday

Was it sadness-related, or were you just thirsty?

I do not mean to make judgments now

But if we date, some things will have to change...

Everybody Googles each other

Everybody does their Facebook research

It's how we get to know one another

To make sure that you don't have cats.