Oh What a Difference

Jeff

Austen, look at you. You’re a mess.

You want katherine back for some reason, I guess. Well, here’s how…

Austen

How?

Jeff

Pretend you couldn’t care less.

Austen

Have you met me? You think I can just move on that easily?

Jeff

You want her back now, don’t you, bro?

Austen

Uh… yes.

Jeff

Then there’s one thing you need to know

Austen

Which is…

Jeff

Forget her

Boom!

Kaput!

She’s gone!

Women come back when you move on

They’re fed up with you

They list all the things that you lack

So, you go on, find someone new

Guess what?

Now they want you back

That’s all it takes

Oh, what a difference

A little indifference makes

Austen

Jeff, it can’t possibly be that easy.

(Jeff sighs)

Don’t you think more people would know about it?

Jeff

You see that guy cry in his beer

A girl walks up, blows in his ear

Next thing she’s taking off her clothes

Now his ex has moved on

But, trust me!

She knows she says

Let’s screw no strings

He stammers okay

Through his shock

Suddenly his cellphone rings

It’s her!

And she just wants to talk

Oh, what a difference

A little indifference makes

So, come on, austen

Let’s hit the town

Go somewhere loud

We’ll both get plowed

Hey, it’s jeff

I won’t let you down

Oh, come on, austen

She’s a memory

Just let it fade

We’ll get each other’s backs

Let loose, relax

Who knows?

You might even get laid

Austen

(Laughs) I don’t know.

Jeff

Oh, come on, austen. If you go out and have fun,

Somewhere katherine will sense that you’re happy and come running back.

They have a sick sense.

Austen (correcting)

Sixth.

Jeff

Un-uh, sick.

So, let’s go out, forget the past

Come on, please

Austen and jeff back together at last

That’s what I’m talking about

Listen, it’s me, I’ll get us dates

Hey, I know this bar that katherine hates

Do what we used to do

But, look!

Katherine’s back for more

Austen

I’ll say “my, god, you’re back, it’s you.

Katherine, have you met the door?!”

Jeff

Yeah, that’s all it takes

Both

Oh, what a difference

Austen

An itty, bitty difference

Jeff

What a whole life-changing difference

Both

A little indifference makes