Sweet apple pie

Well I got nice shoes

and a heart of gold.

I never let the wining get out of control.

When I'm boozing

I takes my time.

It ain't ya turn kid so wait in line.

Yo! Kick that number that we did up

in Reno when we stepped on the stage

in our shark skin chinos,

nothing but c-notes getting played at the tables,

I knew the winning horses before they left the stables,

met a boogie woogie show girl named marla

mable on our first date

I bought her gold cable

she was a winner a real fine dinner

she could turn this old pro back into a beginner.

She did a burlesque number made a brother

wanna settle down, we'd get together ever summer when

I's in town. She was a crazy dame with a lazy eye,

her claim to fame was getting drunk and high.

But her bedroom voice was killing me softly,

I started melting like a mister softy

but behind every skirt there's a scandal,

so I pack a black colt with a pearl handle.

These friggin cold ass benches

at the dog track are enough to give a guy a severe hemmrhoid jesus friggin christ attack

I spilt moxie over my favorite white farrah

slacks wee small hours gaining on brockton's

own neck and neck around

the outside lap would you believe this crap?

lets mosie on back to my suburban palace and relax.

Wo wo wo.

Sweet summer time cooling out on the breezeway

in my back yard I got a great view of the i128 freeway

Let's retire into the den my friend

for some crackers and a couple of shafers.

You know what really sucks about being short,

I gotta get all my suit pants tapered,

I got this one great tan suit

and from a distance they tell me it makes me look naked