MONKS

I like to sing

I wish I could sing like those guys who can sing two notes at once, those Monks.

It takes them ten years to learn how to do it, but it's worth it, because God really sits up and notices when you sing chords.

And there are all those Monks that used to sit and copy the Bible in this very neat lettering, and let me tell you:

When you write all neat and pretty like those Monks did, you can bet that God sits up and takes notice

Those Monks recieve divine grace or my name isn't...whatever my name is.

I wonder if I can make a Monk laugh.

I wonder if I can make a Monk spit out his chocolate milk through his nose

I wonder if I can make a Monk accidentally break a vow of silence

I wonder if I even have the heart to attempt such a thing

It seems so cruel - those Monks are silent for a reason, a beautiful reason, and you can bet when one of those Monks doesn't speak for, say, a year or two, you can bet that God sits up and takes notice.

You've got to appreciate shit like that.

Of course you might figure that with al lthe records I've made that God would have noticed me too, but I would think that if there was a God, God would notice everything, Hell, God probably woudl be everything.

If, on the other hand, there is no God, if there's only space aliens for example, that would be a different story

I mean I'm sure the space aliens would notice the Monks that sing their two notes at once, and even the Monks that take vows of silence,

But would a space alien be abke to tell the difference between a beautiful hand written Bible and one made with state-of-the-art desktop publishing software?

See, that's where the real story is.

In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.

Everyoens equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favourites.