I'll Always Be Proud

Drunken sleep, a shepard without his sheep

Taking what you've said and slowly admitting defeat

And when the casket closes and all my mistakes are exposed

It'll be such a relief for you to know the road that I'd chose

And when you think of me in your bed when you're trying to fall asleep

Some nights I hope I'm not remembered as a fuck or someone you despise

I'm composed of cheap cigs and fast food

I need your time but I'm not trying to intrude

I just needed you to hear me, not the guy you've heard that sings those songs

The real me with feeling the one who did you wrong

I long for just a minute, a minute of your time

I'll probably ask for forgiveness, cus right now I'm in my prime

Every single second of every day and every moment

I replay all of the words I said the ways I left you broken

I'm choking and soaking in things she wrote in her notes

And I feel a lump in my throat just wishing time could be frozen

Detached I relapse and sit back and watch the days pass

Maybe it's best if I'm forgotten with no backlash

And it's somehow so soothing to see you finally move on

I don't feel like I'm losing, it just hurts when you flaunt

I want something more for you than I could ever give

It makes me fucking sick inside you'd choose me over him

Cus I can't buy you nice things or even things that you need

I'd steal the moon for you or food for you and starve while you feed

Can't you see? I'm a mess an added stress, a vacant nest

Glued together by memories and you said it best

Life's a bitch until we die and for the longest time

I tried to tell myself that that was a lie

And I'd shy away from thoughts like that but now I just thrive

Some days I feel as if my brain won't let me unwind

I sound so pathetic but I'm losing my pride

But I can't hide in it, I'll die in it before I subside

Don't leave, don't leave me hanging

All your things packed in your car and I'm facing

All the things that I said, all the nights stuck in my bed

Wishing you could leave

But you were scared of losing me

Watching your car pull out of the driveway for one last time

I'm sick and i'm stuck in a rut it's a thin line between all the tensions

The suffering and trials and my own self absorbed way of life

I'm a child, I wanna taste you one more time

And tell you you're all mine but now I'm left with no spine

and all the blame's just mine

It's a crime to hold you here with those eyes

If you ever see or think of me I hope you realize

That you're better off now and I'll always be proud