I'm Frickin' Awesome

What is it? From the mixed up files of Fazzle T. Frankenwiler,

or something like that?

Mixed up files, powerful files

Verse 1:

It's the last days, Jocks think pussies are ash trays

And artsy-farts have more baggage than Samsonite

Those ancient Hamptonites, they're always like, "I can't tonight"

And men who are too beautiful are too dutiful with their cuticles

Plus it's like conversasion with a carpeted cubicle

I was eating food when a dude pseudo-suitable said,

"My rap talk's the back drop from laptop to blacktop

You certainly appear to be mightily stacked up

My iconoclastic rap schtick, gets my jimmy waxed like Chapstick

I think LL Cool J and Canibus are BOTH fantastic

So-called experts can't see how the text works

So they comb through the textures of italicized excerpts"

Believe me, it sucks acting impressed

Plus the whole time he rhymed he stared at my breasts

At best he was neither ugly nor dumb

I guessed I'd rearrange the boredom

And make it into bedroom, I said, "Let's go Max like Headroom"

We brought the ruckus like Red Grooms

On the couch where we made out with my hand on his paunch

He invited me to march in the Million Sperm Launch

The fun talk stopped when we heard the front door unlock

His dad made such a grand entrance,

dude, you'd think we'd need sunblock

At long last he walked past and let out a calm blast of bombast

Before he could set down he briefcase, I said, "You're a quief-face

Go back to Boston"

Chorus: (fast over rock hard guitars)

When I want some, I get some

I'll wade through the flotsam and jetsam

Til I've met some smart hotties and caught 'em

My parents named me Autumn

But now I'm fricking awesome

Verse 2:

Next I took the Express to 86th and Lex

Flexed my Metrocard back in my wallet and

Walked to the Metropolitan, The Great Hall

Had hundreds of boys straight out of "Eightball", wait, Paul

Barman was posted at his station

He said, "For students there's a $5 suggested donation"

Our eyes met

It's nice to be hypnotized by a man you don't despise yet

He had a type of flow and I can't quite label it

All I know it made me want to take off my cableknit

Sweater, Oh he better be hetero

I hope they don't catch us in the Lila Acheson

Wallace Wing when Paulus brings the mattress in--rudely

He backlashed my booty

like I was Susan Faludi over the Grace Rainey Rogers Room rostrum

Chorus:

When I want some, I get some

If I'm lost in the flotsam and jetsam

I'll draw some

L'acoste alligators chasing an opossum.....

But now- I'm frigging awesome

When I want some, I get some

If I'm lost in the flotsam and jetsam

I'll draw some

L'acoste alligators chasing an opossum.....

I'm frigging awesome

<Scratching> "What is a matter with that man?"

"What is a matter with that man?"