School Anthem

It's true most of the time in class I was tempted to "Fool Around Man"

(laughs)

That's what it was, yeah... You'd be bored and you'd figure

"Well why not deprive someone else of their education"

Verse 1:

I may be kidding school's just babysitting

I knew girls in AP classes knitting, so tedious

Homework is tell major lies or plagiarize encyclopedias, so boring

Fresh-faced teachers want to tickle 'em

but a test-based curriculum excludes exploring

I'll let a mystery gas out of my blistery ass

Just to disrupt the misery of history class

And to entertain your tender brain

When your pain is the same as a fender bender with a train

Analyze the engines if you gotta go to the rhododendrons

Cut class then serve detentions

Say toodle-oo to the trimmed poodles who

Will grow up to be the adults you now hate, I know what's futile too

Like throwing a spear at Choate, I'm not here to gloat

I want to be used as your yearbook quote

Abolish class rank, pour sugar in its gas tank

Weighted grades really yank my ass crank

And stop up my leak hole

English and autoshop should be equal

Anyway an A is a weak goal

So stultifying, It's hard to hold off dying

I'm spying on a lobbyist, It's obvious

Double teachers' salaries and hire smarter

Discard the farters who only inspire fire starters

What is the meaning of C.L.A.S.S.?

Is it a Conspiracy Levelled At Sleepy Students trying to pass?

<Scratching> "Oh my, What a disgrace..."

Verse 2:

Make like a whirlybird and graduate early, word

Or pull all the stops out

Make the proprietors of a mom and pop shop's eyes pop out

And drop out

When I yawn it's hard to hold in drool, drawn dreams of a molten pool

Of magma rock raining Ragnarok

On the whole damn school

Scenes of the old and fool-ish and possibly cruel

Administrators being told the Golden Rule

While rolled in stool

Superficial superintendant

Repainting the facade and bannister

I'm going to switch your contact lens vial

for a Drosophilia Melanogaster cannister:

I found college awkward another teacher, same old chalkboard

I felt I was shifting bawkward when I expected to shoot forward

Could I possibly have been more bored?

Realistically, a stressful sideways

Still skipping readings, still waiting for Fridays

School was so damn boring

It left me colder than the o-ring

Which would not expand and destroyed the USS Challenger in 1986

An overhaul is long overdue

I'm 0 for 2, If so are you

Catch the fever from Wallace Shawn

To destroy school 'til all is goooooooone

<Scratching> "He was the first one to get a Hawaiin nose-humming"

"Analyze the results"