Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Monty Python
Canonical path: /monty-python/bruce-s-philosophers-song
Related lyric paths: 6
Video embedded: yes
Lyric guide
Bruce's Philosophers Song
Read Bruce's Philosophers Song lyrics by Monty Python on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
Reference snapshot
The page facts to cite before the commentary
Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.
Lyrics
Bruce's Philosophers Song
The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Froederich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stewart Mill of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato they say could stick it away
'Alf a crate of whisky every day
Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed
Quick answers
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "Bruce's Philosophers Song"?
Monty Python performs "Bruce's Philosophers Song", and this lyric page sits inside the Monty Python catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Bruce's Philosophers Song"?
Yes. The related section below points to All For One and Decomposing Composers with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Monty Python?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Monty Python's lyric pages.
Song Room
Open Song Room
Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song
Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.
Listener comments
What people are saying
No listener comments on Bruce's Philosophers Song yet.
A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.
Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.