The Penis Song

(Spoken):

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

It's swell to have a stiffy

It's divine to own a dick

From the tiniest little tadger

To the world's biggest prick

So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas

Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake

Your piece of pork

Your wife's best friend

Your Percy or your cock

You can wrap it up in ribbons

You can slip it in your sock

But don't take it out in public

Or they will stick you in the dock

And you won't a-come a-back

(Spoken): Oh, thank you very much