Santa Claus is selling crack

He's the spirit of christmas

Crack and Claus go hand in hand

When christmas comes around, you will be surprised

For Santa's selling crack to children each and every size

No longer does he care if you are naughty or your nice

Jut purchase some of Santa's blend of heroin and ice

The elves are working hard this year, but toys are not their trade

Busy making sheets of acid, vials of crack cocaine

Rudolph the white-nosed coke fiend, Santa's trusty sleigh

His new careers expanding, and he's laughing all the way

Now, Mrs. Claus doesn't approve of jolly old st. nick

Roaming streets of Oakland pushing drugs to kids

But times have changed, dolls and trains outgrown

What the children want now days is some real snow

Santa doesn't care, he's a real man

Some children of the world just can't comprehend

He used to come only once a year

Now that fat slob is always here

He's outside Toys "R" Us, he's inside Taco Bell

His crafty red suit doesn't warn us that it's drugs he sells

If you've got a list, you can sit on his lap

Rub his dirty bears and smoke some crack

Frosty the blow man supplier

Santa's secret outside provider

Deliver his potent sugarplum ocean divider

If your dreaming of a "white" Christmas, Santa's got the goods

Rather buy your hubba from a hero or a hood

More silent than a church mouse's fart, he's in your living room

Dare not give him milk and cookies, daddy's credit card will do...

A twenty dollar bill, hid in your pocket with care

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there

Six months in jail and you still haven't learned

That Santa Claus is a no-life bum who's really not concerned

To get ahead in life you gotta have a plan

Santa Claus has a cause, does no one understand?

He sells his blow to tots and in return he plots

The future of our holiday season