Be Prepared

I know that your powers of retention

Are as wet as a warthog's backside

But thick as you are, pay attention

My words are a matter of pride

It's clear from your vacant expressions

The lights are not all on upstairs

But we're talking kings and successions

Even you can't be caught unawares

So prepare for the chance of a lifetime

Be prepared for sensational news

A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer

(And where do we feature?)

Just listen to teacher

I know it sounds sordid

But you'll be rewarded

When at last I am given my dues

And injustice deliciously squared

Be prepared!

It's great that we'll soon be connected

With a king who'll be all-time adored

Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected

To take certain duties on board

The future is littered with prizes

And though I'm the main addressee

The point that I must emphasize is

You won't get a sniff without me

So prepare for the coup of the century

Be prepared for the murkiest scam

Meticulous planning

(We'll have food)

Tenacity spanning

(Lots of food)

Decades of denial

(We repeat)

Is simply why I'll

(Endless meat)

Be king undisputed

Respected, saluted

And seen for the wonder I am

Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared

Be prepared!

Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared

Be prepared!