Anxious People

I leave my house early in a hazy blur

Jump into my car now I’m driving on my way to work

I’m nearly there, when I feel a sense of dread

As these thoughts of despair start to creep into my head

Like “Did I lock the front door?”

I must have done of course

But the more I think about it the more I feel unsure

This happens every time and it’s always fine

But it’s sod’s law the time one time I don’t check I’ll get robbed blind

I’m having visions of it flapping in the wind

As burglars remove all my things even the kitchen sink

I feel insane but I turn back anyway

Coz if I don’t I know I’ll fret about it all day

I get home and the door’s locked, obviously

I feel crazy but at least I’ve got some relief

I’m driving back now happy that there’s nothing wrong

When suddenly I’m like “Wait, did I leave the oven on?”

Yeah this one’s for my anxious people

All my tense and my angst-filled people

Who keep calm on the surface, and don’t seem to be nervous

But underneath feel far from peaceful

Yeah this one’s for my anxious people

All my stressed out and angst-filled people

Who don’t answer the phone to numbers that are unknown

In case it’s someone that they don’t want to speak to

I get to work and now I’m running late

Walk in through the door and say “good morning” to my mate

She barely responds and seems a little unfriendly

Which sends me spiralling into a frenzy

Like “What could it be? Is she mad at me?”

I spend the whole morning cracking jokes just to see

Eventually she screams “I just got dumped”

“Oh thank god, I thought it was something I’d done…”

At this point the boss says “Oli you got a minute?”

And my blood runs cold like “Oh god I’m finished”

Is it coz I’m always late? Or all the mistakes I make?

Or maybe all the personal emails I’ve written

I walk into his office with my teeth gritted tight

Tryna keep it light like “You gave me quite a fright

I’m sure that I’m only overreacting though, right?”

As he motions to sit down and then says “Not quite…” (Ah shi…)

Yeah this one’s for my anxious people

All my tense and my angst-filled people

Who pull up next to a cop and get sweaty and hot

whether or not they’ve not done anything illegal

Yeah this one’s for my anxious people

All my stressed out and angst-filled people

My hypochondriacs, who over-react

Who get a mole and assume that it’s lethal

The evening’s no better than the day

I go home and fall into my bed where I lay

I pick up my phone up to text this chick I’ve been chatting to

It’s been going well so I try to arrange a date

I spend 20 minutes crafting the perfect message

Lamenting over what to say before I send it

Eventually I go with “Hey” and a smiley face

Hit send and now I sit back and play the waiting game

Straight away I see two blue ticks

So I know she’s received it and she’s also viewed it

But 5 minutes go by and still no reply

Which is all my mind needs to go into overdrive

So I type “If you’re not on it that’s fine babe

At least have the decency to say it to my face”

She writes back “Uh chill Mr Type A

I couldn’t reply coz I was driving on the highway”

Ah man what I goddamn mess I am

I swear this problem that I’ve got is getting out of hand

Coz now it’s started interfering in my daily life

I wonder what it was that made me into this crazy guy?

But the the truth I always was a morbid kid

Worst case scenario - bet you I’d be drawn to it

When my rents went away and were 10 minutes late

I’d picture the rest of my life spent in an orphanage

Maybe I should get some help and see a shrink

But I’m worried if I tell ‘em all the things that I think

Instead of commending me on my courage and my bravery

They’d probably chuck me in a padded cell and throw away the key

Yeah this one’s for my anxious people

All my tense and my angst-filled people

Who seem confident but get a compliment

And wonder whether it was really deceitful

Yeah this one’s for my anxious people

All my stressed out and angst-filled people

I know you think it’s just you, but trust me this is untrue

How do I know? Coz it happens to me too