January Morning

I've always been afraid of being alone

But that's all I've been my whole life long

I've seen the good it's done for you

But it never should have been and will leave soon

My favorite chair is gone years away

There was no phone call and she'd not say

In fact she never was, but in song

My receipt lies long crumpled and gone

I have lost my mind and sleep early in the night

I have no real home but bitter despite

What have I done, that I am left alone

I'm too young, will always be too young to be alone

And so it comes some mid-january morning

Some sick reprieve from my infatuated mourning

The truth be known I'll always miss her

But the sad fact is she'll never miss me

I will sigh and nobody will know

For my pain is as tangible as soul

You think I'd hurt myself to rid of pain?

This spiteful idiocy becoming so plain

So let it be known that in my True Hollywood Story

That I had tried in my own will and right

Will you remember me when I die alone

Or leave me forgotten as dead weed in a road

I'm so scared I'll have no one to hear this

So if you do, please don't dismiss

I beg you, please stay with me now

Save my life, save my life somehow