True Hollywood Story

Sitting in my favorite chair

I am waiting for a phone call

I've been waiting for years

Waiting in the dark I know

In my quiet living room

There lies a receipt from Sears

But wait there goes the phone it rings

I jump up and loudly sing

That you've finally come around

Now I'm screaming at the wall

It turns out you didn't call

I'm all alone and you've found

In my home

You know that I'll wait up for gnomes

This depressing romance

Fails to impress the man sitting in my pants

But I won't cry

I'll just sit around complaining and whine

That none of this

Fits in with my true holly wood story

Sitting there I feel so crazed

Knowing that you'd be amazed

At all of the progress I've made

I don't want to look a prick

Even though you make me sick

With all of the therapists I've paid

And I don't think I need to say

You know that you've made me pay

For all the worry I'd bring

And even though you've made me mad

There's no way you'd make me sad

Jumping every time that phone rings