Honesty

The summer of 2003, after the mania ending

The depression, like, I tried to do, I mean, I was still in school

But I tried to do some part-time work, and, it wasn't happening

It was too, overwhelming

'Cause that's one of the major things

With depression that I've experienced

It's just this really crippling sense of being overwhelmed

By things that aren't even my responsibility

Like, I remember driving with my mom places

And we'd be going to the grocery store or something

And we'd drive by a construction site

And suddenly I would just feel crushed by the

The thought of having to go to this construction site!

It's like, why? It's not even my responsibility

And so, actually having any responsibility was out of the question

So that summer, for sure, I could not work

But after the hospitalization, following the suicide attempt

From that point forward, I've been able to work pretty consistently

But the upside of being very upfront with my

My bosses and my supervisors has been that, I mean

'Cause there have been times where I've had to say

'Hey, I need to manage, like, some hypomania

So, I'm gonna take this day off because

I have to take this medication

And because of this medication

I won't be able to work this day

Um, so you know, kind of like

Managing any other medical issue; do this and that

With depression, a lot of times I'll tell my employers

I'm having a tough time right now

It doesn't usually impair my ability to work

But it affects me and I have to be honest with them

About what's going on