Mother's Day Song

Mother's Day is here

Everybody give a cheer

For the ladies that we call our Mother Dear

I tried to find a card

But you know, it's really hard

To find the one that captures all the love that's in my heart

And so instead, I'm singing you this song

Because I am so grateful to you, Mom…

So I say

Thanks for having intercourse with dad

Without a condom, sponge or IUD

Your lack of objection to sex without protection

Made a sperm and egg turn into me

You gave me life, love, a home, and food and clothing every day

I gave you stretch marks and extra weight that never quite went away

I mean it

Thanks for having intercourse with dad

The carnal act that brought me here to you

I don't know if it was varied or merely missionary

But it sure was good for me; was it for you?

I'm elated that you mated

Your love you consummated

You got inseminated

Then waited and inflated

Inside you I gestated

Until from your womb I cascaded

Thank you Mom…for doing…my Dad!

(I'm so glad that he had you, thanks for doing my Dad)