Nun Fight

Ladies and gentlemen

We present our title bout for the evening

In this corner

Weighing in at one hundred and fourteen pounds

By way of the Sisters of Our Lady of the Immaculate Right Cross

With a record of 23 and 1, with 15 knockouts, three TKOs, two decisions, three conversions and one exorcism

"The High Priestess of Penance"

"The Pounding Penguin"

"The Assassin of the Passion"

"The Stinging Nun"

And "The Roman Catholic Wrecking Ball"

From Dublin, Ireland,

Sister Mary Catherine "The Habit Breaker" Inviolata

And in this corner

Weighing in at an even 82 pounds

By way of the Order of St. Adelaide of Perpetual Confrontation

With a record of 66 and 6, with one disqualification for using a ruler

"The Vatican Vixen"

"The Pontiff's Pitbull"

"The Original Sinner"

"The Homicidal Bride of Christ"

"The Assaulter from the Altar"

"The Nundertaker"

And "The Mother Superior of Kicking Posterior"

From Mexico City,

Sister Maria Teresa Garcia Graziela Aguilera Delgado Francisco Diego Arroyo Inigo Montoya Zapata Paquito El Guapo Abuelita de la "Boom Boom" Mendoza

In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti

Now let's get ready to rumble…