Opening Band

We are the opening band

We are here to do five or six or seven songs

"Don't go too long, and get the hell off the stage"

We are the opening band

We're probably not the band you came to see tonight

But it's alright, 'cause soon we'll go away

And we're wondering, just where the hell's the sound guy?

He disappeared just after we got up here

He's probably behind the building rolling up a fattie

And he'll be gone until our last song

We got a VW van

I had to sell every Star Wars™ figure that I had

And ask my Dad to co-sign for the loan

We don't got a whole lot of fans

Nobody asks for our autograph

And, sad to say, as of today, no panties have been thrown

And we're wondering if this was worth the drive here

We spent six hours in traffic on the highway

For fifty bucks, and half price on the cheese fries

And free Miller® Lite on tap

Who can drink that crap?

My cousin lives in town, and we'll be crashing at his place

Unless his girlfriend's home from college and she's staying for the weekend

And if she is, then we will have to go and park the van

Behind the IHOP by the Turnpike

And we'll sleep in the back seat

And we're wondering just where the headline act is

They're prob'ly getting wasted in the green room

And they don't give a rat's ass who we are

So when they start to play up here

We're gonna drink all their beer

We are the opening band

We hope that all of you sign up on our mailing list

And buy our disc and t-shirts (in black and gray)

We are the opening band

And we only got about 25 more minutes left

That's all we get to blow your ass away

We are the opening band

We are the opening band

Hello

Hello

Hello