Six Guys, Ten Teeth

Five o' clock, Friday, I can hear the whistle blowin'

Got a 6:30 barbecue, and all my boys are showin' up:

Skeeter, Cooter, Billy Ray and Bobby Ray and Billy Bob

We got a pig in the ground, but can't remember where we buried it

So we load up the truck with all the bourbon we can carry

And we kill another hour shootin' BBs at the neighbor's dog

Somebody throws a punch and my buddies get to brawlin'

But I can hear the honky-tonk 'n' señoritas callin'

We pile into the pickup, do some donuts on the lawn

You'll find us in the mornin' when the money's all gone

We'll be covered in piss and stinkin' to the heavens

Sleepin' in the dumpster out behind the 7-'leven

Our underwear is lyin' in the middle of the road and

I'm bleedin' from a head wound, swellin' in the scrotum

Got the shakes, DTs, gonorrhea and the trots

And a tattoo on my buttocks in the shape o' Don Knotts

Everybody runs when we make it on the scene-

Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

'bout 11:30, and we're feelin' kinda down

'cause we already been booted outta every bar in town

So we hang out by the school and watch the cuties leave the junior prom

Me and both the Billys wanna see some nekkid ladies

But the Hooter Hut is closed, Double D's is overrated

So we hit the Jiggly Wiggly, where the headliner is Bobby Ray's mom

Things are goin' good 'til a stripper starts to holler

After Skeeter started diggin' round for change for his dollar

Stripper throws a punch, Skeeter's laid out on the floor

We prob'ly oughta help him, but we're runnin' out the door

We'll be covered in piss and stinkin' to the heavens

Sleepin' in the dumpster out behind the 7-'leven

Our underwear is lyin' in the middle of the road and

I'm bleedin' from a head wound, swellin' in the scrotum

Got a squirrel and a stop sign hangin' from my bumper

And a feelin' like a roman candle burnin' in my dumper

A more pathetic sight you ain't never ever seen-

Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

Four in the mornin', and they kicked us outta Denny's

So we motor to the Mini-Mart and spend our last twenty

On a Molly Hatchet tape, a stack o' Swank, and seven packs o' chaw

Cooter's is in the swimmin' pool that he just drove the truck in

Billy Bob is passed out, Billy Ray is upchuckin'

And I'm crappin' in the parking lot behind the VFW Hall

Sheriff pulls up and we're headin' for the station

But Cooter's dad's a judge, so we get off with probation

If you wanna separate the girlies from the men

We'll see you next Friday when we do it all again

We'll be covered in piss and stinkin' to the heavens

Sleepin' in the dumpster out behind the 7-'leven

Our underwear is lyin' in the middle of the road and

I'm bleedin' from a head wound, swellin' in the scrotum

Got the clap, dry heaves, Montezuma's and the shivers

Pukin' on my Tony Lamas, coughin' up my liver

If you can bail Skeeter out, then you can join the team

Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

Don't need any manners, common sense or self-esteem

Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

All you need's an attitude, a pickup and a penis

Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us