The Campfire Song

[Luke]

Come on, grab some ambrosia

And let the nectar flow

[Percy]

Why is everyone scraping part

Of their plate into the fire?

Is the food here really that bad?

[Luke]

Offering to the gods

It's not enough that they're omnipotent

And all-powerful, they need to feel appreciated

To the gods!

[Ensemble]

To the gods!

[Luke]

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the universe

[All]

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your folks run the universe

[Luke]

My dad is hermes

He messengers things

You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings

I'd wait by the phone, but the phone never rings

Oh, no

When your dad's a God, life can be tough

I met the guy once, and once was enough

Annabeth?

[Annabeth]

My mom's athena

She's smart and she's wise

She's sworn off gluten and she's sworn off guys

But if she came to camp, it'd be a surprise

Oh, no

[Luke and Katie]

Oh no

Oh, and my stepmom, she hates me

And my dad works all day

So I left Virginia and I ran away

[Percy]

Wait, is that true?

[Luke]

Everybody!

[All]

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the universe

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your folks run the universe

[Luke]

Alright, who's next?

[Katie]

Oh! Okay, let me see

My mom's demeter

Goddess of grain

She gets excited when it starts to rain

But planting and planting and planting's a pain

Oh, no

[Ensemble]

Oh, no

Right?

For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car

I got a fern in some dumb mason jar

[Grover]

Ooh, ooh! My turn!

I'm a child of pan

God of the wild

For those who love nature, they're often beguiled

He's not really my dad, but I'm sort of his child

Oh, no

[Ensemble]

Oh, no

He went for a hike to explore new frontiers

And no one has seen him for thousands of years

[All]

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the universe

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your folks run the universe

[Percy]

Chiron! Who's your dad?

[Chiron]

Oh, well

My father is Kronos

Remember my lecture

He ate his children

[Luke]

Chiron wins

How about you, Silena?

[Silena]

The goddess of love

My mom's aphrodite

She tries to be cool but mainly she's flighty

I'll bring home a boy, and she's there in her nightie

[Ensemble]

Oh, no!

It's so embarrassing, guys!

I tried to seek help from even the fates

Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates

[Luke]

Alright, Percy, it's your turn

[Percy]

If I tried to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche

[Luke]

Oh, we're all friends here

Come on, give it a shot

[Percy]

My mom was named sally

She loved scary movies

And food that was blue

And-

[Katie]

He's doing it wrong

[Silena]

Yeah, who's your godly parent?

[Percy]

Oh

I don't know

[Luke]

It's alright a lot of half-bloods

Never know their godly parent

Just give it a try

[Percy]

So my dad is some God

That's great I guess

Did he not want me? Or not want the stress?

Too bad he's the worst, and my life is a mess

Oh, no

I hope he shows even a trace

Cause I got some choice words to throw in his face!

[All]

Oh, things couldn't be worse

When your parents run the universe

Oh, things couldn't be worse

[Luke]

But I don't care where our parents may be

As long as you are here with me

[All]

We don't care where our parents may be

As long as you are here with me

As long as you are here with me!