Eddie's Farm

Eddie licked chickens on the farm

When he was just sixteen

A little ferret was his friend

He used to keep his bottom clean

The moment that he touched a goat

He stroked it every day (stroked it every day)

It was a very happy farm

Where Eddie and his midgets (?) played

Eddie's got 27 pigs and a dozen cows

He became a farmer to abuse his sows

Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?)

And the sausage man came marching in again

Eddie finished at the sty

And then harrassed a horse

He rubbed it up and down his back

And mounted it with violent force

Took seven voles to his mum's bedroom

They nibbled off his clothes (nibbled off his clothes)

Some people say he was a weirdo

But (baaaaah) you should see him go

Eddie's got 27 pigs and a dozen cows

He became a farmer to abuse his sows

Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?)

And the sausage man came marching in again

He's in deep inside a beaver

You hear him moan but don't be scared

Cause like diseases, he comes and then he goes, yeah, let's go

Three days later, Eddie's sitting in a cell

Serves him right for giving all his horses hell

So now the goats can live in peace and harmony

Safe in the knowledge there'll be no more beastiality

Eddie had 27 pigs and a dozen cows (Eddie had a farm, but he caused it harm)

He became a farmer to abuse his sows

Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?) (after every show, Eddie nailed a goat)

And the sausage men were eating sandwiches, yeah, eh-eh-eh-eh