Gerbil Song

I bought a gerbil

At the petting zoo

If Richard Gere can do it

I can too

I get undress

I start to lube

I stick the gerbil at the end of the tube

Wondering just how he'll feel

Will he like it better than his little wheel

Careful now he's right beside me

One more inch and he's inside me

Goooo, gerbil, go

Burrow harder, burrow deeper

be my little chimney sweeper

one thing i forgot about

how am i supposed to get you out

so now my gerbil is on easy street

its more than cozy and theres plenty to eat

got to find a way to get him out of his hole

i tried crobars i tried wires

i almost had him with a pair of plyers

i tried cheese but he's not biting

i wish this wasn't so exciting

Goooo, gerbil, go

Jesus, I am such a sucker

Please get out you furry f***er

I think I am getting ill

Suddenly he is very very still

Now its too late

My gerbil died

I guess I have committed gerbicide

Here's some advice its very clear cutt

If you love your gerbil

Don't stick him up your butt

Don't stick him up your butt

Little furry gerbil in your booty hole

And a happy birthday too and thanks!