Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Stephen Lynch
Canonical path: /stephen-lynch/history-lesson
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
History Lesson
Read History Lesson lyrics by Stephen Lynch on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
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Curated by Ethan Walker
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Lyrics
History Lesson
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Stephen:
I have to redo the vocals for Medieval Bush.
Friends:
Why?
Stephen:
Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century.
Friends:
Wait! So how do you know this?
Stephen:
Cause I used to be a teacher.
Friends:
(Laugh)You used to be a teacher?
Stephen:
Yes
Friend:
Professor?
Stephen:
No, I taught elementary school and I got fired for I had an unorthodox way of teaching. In which I would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids.
Friend:
Of course you did.
Stephen:
Okay, okay let me find a lesson for you... Ben Franklin
"Ben Franklin went out one night,
Tied a key to the end of a kite,
Electricity struck so bright,
Write it down muthafuckas"
Friends:
You called the kids motherfuckers?
Stephen:
Some of them were motherfuckers yes.
Friends:
Science
Stephen:
Um...
"Issac Newton sat under a tree,
An apple hit him in the head so he,
Said holy shit that's gravity,
So write it down muthafuckas"
I have a million of theses.
Friends:
Pilgrims
Stephen:
Okay... hey...
"Pilgrims raced against the clock,
Lookin for a place to dock,
They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,
Write it down muthafuckas."
Friends:
I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy.
Stephen:
I'm not implying anything.
Friend:
Wright Brothers
Stephen:
Uh...
"A dude named Orville Wright,
Told his brother lets invinflight,
So Wilbur said "ight",
Write it down muthafuckas"
Yes, he said "ight"
Friend:
Wilbur said "ight"?
Stephen:
In my story he did.
Friend:
Wilbur was street in your story?
Stephen:
Yes
Friend:
Word
Stephen:
See, you can't stump me
Friend:
Slavery?
Stephen:
Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...
"Abe Lincoln lead the nation,
Freed slaves form the plantations,
Inmansa-muthafucka-proclamation,
Write it down anaem-ops."
Friend:
Gandhi!
Stephen:
Uh... I did not have one for him. Uh... hold on, hold on. Gandhi... Uh... alright.
(Slowly) "Gandhi is what you said,
An Indian with a bald head,
He was a bit under fed,
Write is down muthafuckas!"
Fried from that job!
Friend:
Your a genius.
Quick answers
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Who performs "History Lesson"?
Stephen Lynch performs "History Lesson", and this lyric page sits inside the Stephen Lynch catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "History Lesson"?
Yes. The related section below points to America and Ballad Of Scarface with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Stephen Lynch?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Stephen Lynch's lyric pages.
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