Fat Children

Do not feed doughnuts to your obese children

You will regret it when they're in their teens

Maccas might shut them up now that they're seven

But they won't forgive you when

They're getting picked last for PE

Don't you see?

Boombalata motherfucker

Have you noticed that yo kids are fat?

What are you going to do about that?

What are you going to do?

So you telling me that your family

Has a history of obesity

You got a wire loose in your pituitary

It's just the way that God made me

It's unlikely, statistically

To be a physical thing

But either way it don't explain why you

Are in the cue at Burger King

You can blame it on biology

You can blame your physiology

You can point to genealogy

And your social anthropology

You can say you are an ectomorph

That you just can't get the kilos orf

Well you can be what you wanna be

But stop feeding that boy KFC

He weighs 30 kilos and he's only three

He looks like a clean-shaven Pavarotti

Switching to Diet Coke is not the way back

Boombalata motherfucker

Your kid's a fat, have you noticed that?

Your 5 year old princess in her size 14 tutu

Only eats pizza like that because you do

And you, you should feel ashamed

For you have only got yourself to blame

Will be dead of a heart attack

Before your grandchildren are ten

Perhaps you'll consider

A cut-back on extra fries then

Boombalata kiddie-stuffer

Have you noticed that your kids are fat?

What are you gonna do about that?

What are you gonna do?

So you're telling me that your family

Has a history of obesity

You got the polycystic ovaries

Your mum had childhood diabetes

But - and in your case

There's a fucking big butt

Do you think it's an appropriate treat

The all-you-can-eat at Pizza Hut?

There's no excuse you silly goose

For a child with a caboose

Like a moose who's eaten too much mousse

It's tantamount to child abuse

Kick them off the fucking couch

Unplug the Playstation

Send them down to the park

If they don't wanna go, make 'em

Tell them they have to jog

Until their jogging shorts fit'em

If they hesitate, ask firmly

If they still resist, hit'em

Is this what you want for your girl and your guy?

These chips off the pork chop, for the toffee apples of your eye?

Kit Kats in value packs are not the way back

Boombalata Motherfucker

Your kids are fat, did ya notice that?

And you, you should feel ashamed

For you have only got yourself to blame

Your 6 year old miniature Jabba the Hut

Eating half melted Mars Bars from the folds of his gut

He'll be looking for a kidney

Before your grandchildren are ten

Perhaps you'll consider

A cut-back on Taco Bell then

Perhaps you'll consider

A cut-back on Krispy Kreme doughnuts

And Popcorn in bucket-sized boxes

And microwave pizza or drive through McDonalds

For weeknightly dinners in front of the TV

And notes to the phys-ed instructor saying

Timmy has asthma but he really just gets short of breath

Cos he's 35 kilos above the ideal weight

Of 35 kilos for a nine year old boy