Lullaby

Sleep, little baby, sleep now my love

The Milky Way's shining high up above

When you grow up, you will learn all that stuff

But for now, close your eyes

Close your eyes

Sleep, little baby, try not to squawk

Tomorrow and tomorrow you'll learn how to walk

To love and laugh, to totter and talk

But for now, beddy-byes

Your blanket's hand-knitted with pure angora wool

Your nappy is dry and your tummy is full

Of enough antihistamine to chill out a bull

Yet still all this gringing

What more could you want for? I just cannot guess

You constantly complain to me; you should feel blessed

There are children in Africa, starving to death

And you don't hear them whinging

What more can I do to put a stop to

This mind-numbing noise you are making?

Where is the line between patting and hitting?

When is rocking "rocking" and when is it "shaking"?

I don't know what else I can do to try to hush you

My heart says "I love you", but my brain's saying "fuck you"

And hoping a child trafficker will abduct you

At least then I'll get a few hours in bed

I've shushed and I've cooed and I've even try to sing

"Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da" in the exact voice of Ringo

Now all I have left is to hope that a dingo

Will sneak in and rip off your fat bitching head

Hush little baby, don't say a word

Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird

In the hope you get avian flu

The nice folk in A&E will take care of you

That's it, close your eyes, shhh, not a sound

I can barely see your tiny chest move up and down

One thing they don't mention in the parenting books;

Your love for them grows, the closer to dead they look