Porcelain

Knowing if I could give you the sky and also the sea

But I don't think there's one thing in this world that'll make you notice me

Cause you can wield that sword in any direction, you damn well please

But you don't understand, that my heart is in your hands

And I'm beggin you not to squeeze

I was ruined in the 7th grade, the pain never changed or went away

The memory's ingrained like it was yesterday

They're telling me I'm crazed, because I've blessed her name

A steady gaze to sweat her frame, If life is just a play, then she was center stage

I sent her letter pages on a daily basis

That her friend's trashed in waste bins

So, if she asks there's just no way to trace this

She was reigning queen of junior high and I was faceless

Painted bangs and bracelets, and even looked graceful in plated braces

I hate to say this but my aim was wasted

So, I trained my heart for 7 years while she remained in basics

Leading the same parade of babes to places

Swearing I held a space in her heart, yet every semester she'd vainly replace it

Yet, I waited and displayed my patience

Even offered statements of positive advice in her cases of shakey situations

But she never associated me with hip relations

With bated breath, I just withstood the breakage

Like porcelain

With my hormones racing, praying a for a date on summer vacation

Around the time when your body is under renovation

You know when nothing really fits?

And the girls get bolder, and start looking for older affiliates

I hold a silly wish in my mind that she'd willingly kiss these

Lips, but I won't get Frisky, I get the feeling she'd diss me

I'm stil in a risky position - itching to hit a decision

To muster up the ambition to make the proposition

Desperation became my religion

The same way you envision cynics finding Jesus caged in a prison

Visiting hours consisted of English Lit & Diction

History quizzes on Christians to Mr. Richard Nixon

Transfixed in her smile like the other fifty guys

She hypnotized, Guess I'm another stickler for pretty eyes

I minimized my obsession, never made the confession

Even evaded her presence at our graduation procession

It was a decision I later regretted

Wondering what I could have said and would it have swept her away if I said it

Step and Repeat and edit - my thoughts clashed

But I regained my lost chance the very day that we crossed paths again

I revelled in the opportunity, asked her to go dancing

Basking in this confidence that was new to me

It worked beautifully! A wild night became a quiet ride home

As I broke the silence her eyes roamed

7 Years of frustration then hit her ears with abrasion

As I laced her with my tale of lust, tears and anticipation

Her reaction was a face of fakeness

Told me she was flattered, but within a tone lacking any amazement

It seemed she'd heard it all before

I realized then, her popularity is what I wanted her for

I tried to be strong as she hopped out the door

But even the hardest hearts break when they're dropped to the floor

Like Porcelain

Days pass and time goes on and on

But, you might think my skin was strong enough

But there's something you don't understand

I'm porcelain. I'm porcelain