Dent In The Moon

Swing, out of your shoes

And if you should lose this time

Keep on swinging and swinging and soon

When you connect

With all of your strength

Look up and you might see a dent in the moon

Yeah, you see them craters?

That was ‘cause a kid said there’d be none greater

In ten years hammering hank was at the plate launching balls into space saying see ya later

Skinny as a toothpick but he got a knack

Watch him swing a broomstick at a bottlecap

Watch him rinse and repeat till he’s on the map

Going from the cheap seats to the autographs

Papa put a bat in my hand and all he said was never ever, ever, ever rock a dodger hat

And whether you win or you didn’t you gotta be getting dirty

And we better send your jersey to the laundromat

It was in the cards

I knew someday I’d be a big league star

Playing second base for the giants wearing number 9 rocking knee-high socks

If I just worked hard

We had our 6th grade baseball tryouts on the basketball courts

So a fastball had hops

We didn’t have a grass field and so coach hit us grounders

Off the asphalt I dropped

A lot and so he hit ‘em faster and I took ‘em off my ankles

Yelling that’s all you got?

And when I saw my name on the roster I went insane

Like I was sniffing bath salts, I’m not—here to play soft

I’ll go beastmode on a piñata and bite its motherfucking face off

Until it rains candy out of its neck-hole

I don’t go flexing my pecs, or get swole

I wasn’t the fastest

And when I moved it kinda looked like I was running through molasses—true

It’s silly to give a shit about a game but earth

Is a little ball that’s spinning on its axis—too

I wasn’t cut out for the bigs, guess I been a fool

And middle school was just a bit of cruel ridicule

But when you step into the ranks of the man

It’s like they push you from the high dive to the kiddie pool (thanks)

It’s time to ballroom waltz that plank

We’re little minnows in a small shark tank

You try to swim without getting blood in the water

But you’re all heart and guts like a ballpark frank

Never an all-star

I had to keep score

If I were perfect I would quit and join the peace corp

I’m not a hero, if I didn’t try my doubts eat at me

Like I’m a carcass on the sea floor

So say this shit is too corny

It tastes better to me than, ‘ooh poor me’

I’m just trying to sing a different tune

And then fit into a world that didn’t have room for me