Kidnap Your Boyfriend

I was just thinking that I really like you

And I was just thinking I really like you

And I was just thinking if I kidnap your boyfriend

Could I be your boyfriend?

I've gotta time it right

I've gotta plan it through

You're a stick of dynamite

Hope that I can handle you

You're a whole new animal they couldn't hold a candle to

So I demand a candid answer, what's a man to do?

Could pay a camera crew

Get an editor set up in his kitchen with the video and kid and put his ass on catch a predator

Call his creditor

Tell em he's in heavy debt and with the fed on red alert

I plant a care package, a bear trap with the teeth padded

And when he grabs it, then I beat it like br'er rabbit

Or I could lock him in the liquor cabinet

Drinking, thinking if hes sad until he kicks the habit

And if he gets lovey dovey

I'll take him to the kindergarten keep him in the cubby

When we leave for winter break and someone gets the pet I'm gonna pawn him off on little betty like he was a guppy

I was just thinking that I really like you

And I was just thinking I really like you

And I was just thinking if I kidnap your boyfriend

Could I be your boyfriend?

It's a minute to midnight and

That's my cue to pull up in my big white van

Beckon him with my charisma

Chucking snickers at him like it's his bar mitzvah

And if someone heard that racket

Better bet I'm gonna bag him in a burlap sack

Your dude's whack

He lacks the x factor

(Bookmark boy) I can be the next chapter

What do I do for the women who tell me they want me?

That when I got over the one who steadily haunts me

If I get over the one

Then I'll be ready to party

Then I'll be looking at blondie

On me get up and calmly walk away

It's pretty pathetic

I get it, but not today

You wanted to play

You want me to act tough?

Spend every dime

But I won't go bankrupt

I said to be easy

Could you please back up

All these jenga beezies they just don't stack up

I was just thinking that I really like you

And I was just thinking I really like you

And I was just thinking if I kidnap your boyfriend

Could I be your boyfriend?

If I'm too blunt, I can mask it

If time's a blunt, I can pass it

I'd rather pass with to the passenger

Shotgun the messenger

Call off the massacre

Your dude is cool

I wish I didn't have to mess with him

To tell the truth

I want the very second best for him

I'm positive I'm not pessimist

I'm not jumping

I'm just pissing off the precipice

If I deafen to the definition and I never getcha

God I betcha I'll be better cause I metcha but be I'm missing always waiting for day you'll be available

You keep on stating who you're dating ain't debatable

But baby, maybe we could pick up when this shit ends

My sixth sense says we're clicking like we're bic pens

I don't wanna read the writing on the wall if it's only gonna end like annie hall

I was just thinking that I really like you

And I was just thinking I really like you

And I was just thinking if I kidnap your boyfriend

Could I be your boyfriend?