Pauly Shore Saw My Penis

Completely true story.

So I met Pauly Shore about... 2 weeks ago, famed actor of the screen, uh... At a booking conference in St. Louis. Didn't think anything more of it that night. Got back to L.A 3 days later and me and a bunch of... friends decided that it was time to go visit the man's spa on our corner which is kinda of a... Greko... Russian... I don't know, it was a man's spa, it was my first time being naked in front of other men and who should get into the hot tub but Pauly Shore?

You couldn't see a lot

With our crotches under froth

On timer-jets the trouble started when the bubbles stopped

Now if you wanted you could see each little boy wand

Bobbing there as clear as little goldfish in a coi pond

And I was hot and prunie

As dry as styrofoam

I needed to escape the tub like Pauly from the Biodome

I know no boychick's poifect

But I made the noble choice

And hoisted myself out of the moistness

Slowly which exposed my joystick

And Pauly must have seen it

Plain as I'm waving at you

Because I stood there dripping, naked like the David statue

Pauly I've gotta ask you

Because I'm just not psychic

If my penis was a facebook post

I wonder if you'd like it

All my life

I prayed for a friend like you

And I wish I could see your linus too

But you wore a fucking speedo, you bitch

I can't express just what it's meant to me

To have my genitals vetted by a celebrity

And one with Paulie's pedigree

I'm talking Breeder's Cup

If Charlie Sheen had seen my peen it wouldn't mean as much

He doesn't have the Weasel's touch

I'm not some stupid groupie

This dude was in Biodome, Encino Man, a Goofie movie

And... probably other stuff!

I just think it's fucking nuts

That mister Pauly Shore himself was gazing at my buttercups

I dreamed to be discovered

I hope the wait is over

Not sure if this is it

But either way it's great exposure

And I can't blow this chance

To have this bro romance

I hope he picks the fruit the dangles from my lowest branch

I'll pick the slowest dance

I just can't handle this

Perhaps I should expect it at a men's spa in Los Angeles

I wish I could see your pud too

But I'd twitpic your dillsnick, it's true