The One

Everywhere I look it seems like everybody's pairing off

I'm staring at the pairs like they were tits on Lara Croft

Even all the dogs I see are clicking so terrific

Picking out their favorite puppy's ass to sniff and stickin' with it

All the faker single ladies twerkin to Beyoncé

Every single one of 'em is somebody's fiancée

You never spilled your guts. You wanted your say

Wait a couple years and try again when they're divorcees

All the gentlemen are trynna get the pussy, wanna make that pelvis scream

But when I hit it and I quit it then it never really helps my self-esteem

We want some tonsil hockey, but we got hecka cocky

Overfished the ocean, so we're running low on tekka maki

Sushi douchey dudes are saying 'do me' but we're doomed

We run away from keepers and go creepin on the goons

Most men and women full of crap, need a laxative

Want the ass when I'm waxin it, Uncle Sam how I'm taxin it

Do a backflip and try to land in it, then abandon it, pretty soon we're back to

1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4

I don’t believe in “the one”

1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 2, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4

There’s no such thing as “the one”

Wonderland is where I'll find an Alice who is radical

But I'm drunk on Facebook now and diving down that rabbit hole

Checkin' on my ex and soon I'm creepin on her lover

And when the picture buffers I see her new boyfriend's buffer than me

Got those upper pecs his fuckin V-neck couldn't cover

My dick is pretty lonely but my nuts still got each other

I suffer, suffer from a habit, yes I'm an addict

But someone else is out there, it's just simple mathematics

There's over 7 billion mothafuckas on the planet and 4 billion of us are of legal age

That's 2 billion ladies, 4 billion tittays, and I bet a couple of 'em aren't engaged

And I get it you've been looking for the one but they been running trynna hide like Kony

And you're gonna find 'em if you're getting back into the saddle, baby ride that pony

And if you never get over that early lover then it sucks for you

Gotta admit that it's difficult to be watching her with him but everybody want a love that's true

I'm waiting, batin’ patiently, yo I'm a catch

I'm losing my head, playing musical beds, and looking for “the one” that match

1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4

I don’t believe in “the one”

1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 2, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4

There’s no such thing as “the one”