Changes Consume Me

It's a terrible statement

But I never let it leave my side

That sickening realization

That I'm done with this fight

Moments kneeling on the bedroom floor

Sickened by the entity I had absorbed, no more

I would not let the self-scrutinizing endeavor endure

A precipice a monologue questioning my every motive

My disaster stricken heart feeling broken

My emotions quoted spilling out of a broken vase

Taking the place of what was once your emotion

Diluted with tears, an open book

Scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink I'm vocally shook

And I'm tired of telling myself that it's gonna change

Taken by the spectacular lie that existence can end

Faulse-hoods predicted my sinners dictated my every decision

An exit of sorts seemed logical

Cause I thought I could silence this breath

But contrary to my mindset

I circumvented my threats to silence the demons

Singing songs in my head; whispering in my ear

That ending it all is a safe bet

Comforting me as I try to manipulate my end

Those moments when I decided I couldn't handle this anymore!

Pins and needles infected every sensation I had left!

Feeling like this love I had once found

Had been torn open and left broken in the cold

And the seams holding it together ripped open

And my flesh tore open with that is

I pray that my breathing would stop

And as I held those staining memories

I held on so tightly; remembering what life used to mean

Selfishly ready to embrace the fact that I am weak!

But then I called to you

And I hoped someone would find me

And I found you, and I had hoped someone would call me!

Cause I'm listening to these echoes of my own voice

Leaving damage in the cold

As I feel I have finally grown to the point where I can snap

A point of knowing I could never go back

And it's in the moments I felt most alone

That I told myself no one was there for me

And little did I know, love with sitting right beside me

I just wasn't listening

At this point in my life I don't know many things

But I can promise you this

You are loved completely