Constant Conflicts

I spent too much time erasing, not enough time changing

Blurring the lines between sick and selfish

Hoping I can grab on for just a second

But I've learned to take what I can get

And use the parts that makes sense

And relent only when I meet my own death

And find a pace I can circumvent

When was truth less about proving a point and just proving someone wrong

All along I'll rest my aching joints to my own broken hope and swan song

But maybe I'm over worked because I like breaking the healing process as a comfort when I'm aching

With this new perspective I'm finally taking

I made this bed and I will sleep in it

The comfort of your [?]

I made this bed and I will sleep in it

Even if [?] to a bed of nails

Death is not a choice and love should not be either

I'll endure the pain if our hearts endure the weather

The only pain worse than killing with force is killing with neglect I guess

And now I know that our love was completely dead

I will complicate this love just to feel something

And I'm sorry if it's clouded all the facts

The rhythm of my heartbeat change in the moment that I realized you are not coming back

I will complicate this love just to feel something

And I'm sorry if it's clouded all the facts

The rhythm of my heartbeat change in the moment that I conceptualize the words I masked

I made this bed and I will sleep in it

The comfort of your [?]

I will give up all I have just to go back home

I'm [?]

I hope you know I hate being alone

You used to make my mind clear

Now your absence does instead

I heard your dog barking in the backyard

He only does that when you're home

And I just hope you understand

I never meant to grow apart

But I know at some point I had to grow

I guess I could've picked a better time to learn patience

But now I'm learning that I am becoming the one who broke my heart

I was a creature of habit but with no real intentions

I conformed to what I understood to be happiness

Or undiagnosed telf medicated approach to getting lost in each other's contemptment lead to a misconception of your beauty

I still can't believe that I lied to you

Especially because when I said it, I thought I was telling the truth

I thought I was strong enough to carry you but now my mind is clear

And I hope you hear this

I love you