Hey You, Grow a Beard

I saw you in the streets

Your beardless face was such a shame

Because a man without a beard

Is like a lion without a dick

I said "hey you! Grow a beard

Or get out of my town!"

I continued yelling angrily

As I followed you around

So take heed

Of what I have to say

Grow a beard

Or I will make you pay!

Hey you, grow a beard!

Grow a beard or else

If you don't grow a beard

I'll make you grow a beard myself!

You look like a moron

And you know it's true!

So hey you, grow a beard!

Coz that's what I told you to do

(Hey you, grow a beard!)

(Hey you, grow a beard!)

You've gotta grow a beard! (hey you, grow a beard!)

I sent you a strongly worded letter

Threatening in tone

I know where you live

I waited outside your home

I hacked into your facebook

I went through your trash

I ordered a bunch of pizzas

Straight to your address!

So take heed

Of what I have to say

Grow a beard

Or I will make you pay!

Hey you, grow a beard!

Grow a beard or else

If you don't grow a beard

I'll make you grow a beard myself!

You're a moron

And you know it's true!

So hey you, grow a beard!

Coz that's what I told you to do

I'm gonna make you grow a beard, I've got a lot of shit planned.

And I've got a lot of returns on my hands

A man without a beard is not a real man

So do what I demand and grow a God damned beard.

(Hey you, grow a beard!)

(Hey you, grow a beard!)

(Hey you, grow a beard!)

(Hey you, grow a beard!)

Hey you without a beard I'm gonna take you down!

I'm gonna flip you the bird when I see you around

I'm gonna badmouth you, to all your friends

I'm gonna take your daughter out and never call her again!

I'm gonna throw things at you when you go to the shops

I'm gonna take a shit in your mail box!

I trust that I am making myself clear?

You better grow a beard!

Grow a beard!