I'm In The Mood... For Beards

Beards!

She’s stretched out naked in front of me

With her finger to her lips

She beckons me to the bedroom

With a shake of her hips.

She says “baby i want your lovin’”

As she takes me by the hand

“i want you to give it to me

The way that only a bearded man can.”

And i say

I’m not in the mood for makin love tonight

I don’t wanna lay you down beneath that candle-light

I don’t wanna draw you near and hold your body tight

I’ve only got one thing

One thing on my mind

I’m in the mood

I’m in the mood

I’m in the mood

I’m in the mood

For beards!

She wraps her legs around me

And whispers in my ear

“i wanna feel every piece of you

Including your magnificent beard”

She kisses my lips so tenderly

But i don’t even care

Cos i can’t seem to get my mind

Off of my facial hair, so i say

So sick of getting offered sex everywhere i turn

Beards are all i need, when will you ladies learn, that i’m

Not in the mood for a little romance

I’m not in the mood for the no pants dance

Not in the mood for strokin’

For pink-bit pokin’

Chocolate sauce, intercourse

Oh no, no, no no no

I’m in the mood

I’m in the mood

Oh baby, i’m in the mood

I’m in the mood

Oh baby i’m in the mood

I’m in the mood

For beards!