No Beard, No Good

No beard, no good

There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood

And you can tell me you can't

I know that you could

You've got no beard and you're, no good

No

Well there's a beardless man in the flat next door

I've never spoken to him before and I never will

Until he grows a beard

And there's a beardless man in the flat below

I ignore him when he says hello and I always will

Until he grows a beard

Until he grows a beard

No beard, no good

There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood

And you can tell me you can't

I know that you could

You've got no beard and you're, no good

Well there's a beardless boy playing in the street

I pass him and I spit at his feet, it's his own fault

He should have had a beard

And there's a beardless girl I broke her heart

I also keyed her car, it's her own fault

She should have had a beard

She should have had a beard

No beard, no good

There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood

And you can tell me you can't

I know that you could

You've got no beard and you're, no good

Well there's a beardless banker, he calls me on the phone

He asks me to pay back my loan, but I won't

Not until he grows a beard

And there's a beardless man, he calls me son

He asks me to dinner but I never come, and I won't

Not until he grows a beard

Until he grows a beard

No beard, no good

There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood

And you can tell me you can't

I know that you could

You've got no beard and therefore you're, no good

No good, no good, no good