This Beard Stays

My dad had a beard

Coz my dad wasn't shit

When he died I decided I

Would grow one just like it

I grew it large and I grew it long

I grew it thick and I grew it strong

Then I had to find a job

But at the job interview

They told me I'd have to shave

The beard that I had just grew

They said 'we have a no-beard policy'

I said 'you can't do this to me!' I said

I won't shave

I won't do what you say

I won't shave

I'm not gonna shave my beard away

I won’t listen to what you say

I don't need your job, don't need your pay

This beard is mine and this beard stays

So I went to centrelink

Thought I'd get me some welfare

But the lady at the counter

Didn't like my facial hair

She said: 'you'll have to shave first, sir'

So I stood up and yelled this at her: I yelled

I won't shave

I won't do what you say

I won't shave

I'm not gonna shave my beard away

I won’t listen to what you say

I don't need your welfare, don't need your pay

This beard is mine and this beard stays

So I wandered far from home

Travelling across the land

And I spread my bearded message

Singing in my novelty band

So if you're bearded and you’re proud

Sing with us, and sing it loud. We'll all sing

We won't shave

We won't do what you say

We won't shave

We're not gonna shave our beards away

We've got beards and that's ok

You’re not my real father anyway

These beards are ours and these beards stay